3.21.2013

the greatest thing you'll ever learn...

so the last couple of weeks have been rough for me. for my readers out there, whomever you may be, you may know that i was in a long distance relationship. a relationship of three and a half years; long distance for what would have been one year this june. unfortunately, i was blind-sighted a couple weeks ago and well i am obviously recently single. this has been one of the hardest times in my life. 

waking up one day and realizing that you no longer have the love of your life by your side anymore is one of the worst feelings to experience. i really had high hopes for our future. i honestly thought i would marry this man if i had the opportunity. i would have given up everything just to spend the rest of my life with him because he made me that happiest young woman and i never thought anything of it.

how does a relationship end so quickly? we always fought for each other and for what we wanted and i supported every decision he made as he did the same for me. but even with the rough patches in a relationship, we always learned to work through them and push through them because the love we had for each other was stronger than both of us. but there was no fighting for the love we had this time. why is that? it's as though everything had changed. 

is it pathetic that i wallowed in my bed for days? no eating or sleeping, just a huge crying fest by myself? whether it was pathetic or not, somehow it made me feel better to think of all the good times and how much i wanted everything to go back to the way it was. but no matter how hard i tried, the life i had was gone and over. promises were broken and once that happens sometimes a sorry means absolutely nothing especially when it seems as though you are the only one fighting for the one you love most.

as each day goes on, i can't say that it gets easier, but it does get more manageable. my broken heart may not be mended, but with time "this too shall pass" and i will continue to live. 

no matter what, i will always have these questions in my head of the closure i never received. what was the real reason for the sudden ending? was it something that i did? you did? did someone convince you that this would be for the best? everything said to me that day was not like you to have done. who were your influences? was i not good enough? not religious enough? how do we get what we had back? can we start over? if i'm the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and marry, then what is holding you back now?

i guess i'm just full of questions and that's how i will always be. this may have just been a chapter of my life, but it is one that i have learned the most from. it's time for a new beginning; new people, new adventures, new love and old love. 

i'm a sucker for quotes and i truly am inspired by them. here are a few to keep you going or at least keep me going.


















wherever the road takes me, i will cherish every moment like it's my last. inspirational quotes keep me going and i just love them. until next time lovelies...

xoxo,
Leanna

8 comments:

  1. I don't know you very well, but I know what you're going through. I'm in a long distance relationship in another country. I myself think about cutting off my long relationship with my girlfriend because of how difficult it can be. So I think I can give you some sort of closure on how he might have thought or an idea at least. For my situation it is something I call right girl, but wrong time. Just stay strong, remember that you were with him for those 3 years or so, not for the other many years of your life. There is more ahead, and I wish you best of luck.

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    1. Dear Anonymous,

      I do think that long distance relationships are very difficult, but if you love the person enough you can work through them. It is difficult for both ends and sometimes I think it is hard for the other person to know how you are feeling if you don't confide in them which makes it even worse. Thank you for all your support and good luck as well. Just be sure to be honest because the worst thing after a heartbreak is the closure. If you love her, however, don't let her go. Best of luck as well!

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  2. Did you guys break up because of the distance? i too am trying to work it through for 2 years. Thanks.

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    1. Dear Anonymous,

      I think our break up was not only the distance, but also a combination of personal things I believe. There were a lot of aspects that played into it. I am a FIRM BELIEVER that long distance relationships CAN WORK! Both individuals need to be willing to put everything on the line and risk it all for the one they love. Your love has to be stronger than the distance. There were two things that I always remembered; Quality > Convenience, and Love > Distance. If you are willing to push through the bad times and make memories along the way I believe it can work. Trust each other, talk to each other constantly, and the little things are the things that matter. Luxurious items shouldn't be necessary in a relationship. It should be based on love, trust, and honesty. If you can get through this, I praise you. "The greatest thing you'll every learn is just to love and be loved in return." Remember this, as it gets me through. And no matter what, everything will work out! Good luck and don't hesitate if you need advice!

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  3. All I can say is that the worst experiences in my life also helped me the most in becoming who I am today. I wouldn't have learned so much about myself or about life without those experiences, and I believe that they are just as important as the best experiences, maybe even more important. Having my heart broken by the person I loved was probably one of the hardest things that I've been through, and it still hurts today after over a year. But it has gotten a lot easier, and I don't think about her as often anymore. More importantly, I learned how to be more confident in myself from that relationship, and learned what to look for in others. Heartbreak is really horrible, but it will get easier over time and eventually in a quiet moment, perhaps you can find meaning in all of the difficulties you went through. I hope you can. Keep strong Leanna.

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    1. Dear Anonymous,
      Thank you for all of your support. I am taking everything I can from the experiences and hopefully a new adventure will come from it!

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  4. Love you LeLe! Keep being an incredibly strong woman <3

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