so the last couple of weeks have been rough for me. for my readers out there, whomever you may be, you may know that i was in a long distance relationship. a relationship of three and a half years; long distance for what would have been one year this june. unfortunately, i was blind-sighted a couple weeks ago and well i am obviously recently single. this has been one of the hardest times in my life.
waking up one day and realizing that you no longer have the love of your life by your side anymore is one of the worst feelings to experience. i really had high hopes for our future. i honestly thought i would marry this man if i had the opportunity. i would have given up everything just to spend the rest of my life with him because he made me that happiest young woman and i never thought anything of it.
how does a relationship end so quickly? we always fought for each other and for what we wanted and i supported every decision he made as he did the same for me. but even with the rough patches in a relationship, we always learned to work through them and push through them because the love we had for each other was stronger than both of us. but there was no fighting for the love we had this time. why is that? it's as though everything had changed.
is it pathetic that i wallowed in my bed for days? no eating or sleeping, just a huge crying fest by myself? whether it was pathetic or not, somehow it made me feel better to think of all the good times and how much i wanted everything to go back to the way it was. but no matter how hard i tried, the life i had was gone and over. promises were broken and once that happens sometimes a sorry means absolutely nothing especially when it seems as though you are the only one fighting for the one you love most.
as each day goes on, i can't say that it gets easier, but it does get more manageable. my broken heart may not be mended, but with time "this too shall pass" and i will continue to live.
no matter what, i will always have these questions in my head of the closure i never received. what was the real reason for the sudden ending? was it something that i did? you did? did someone convince you that this would be for the best? everything said to me that day was not like you to have done. who were your influences? was i not good enough? not religious enough? how do we get what we had back? can we start over? if i'm the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and marry, then what is holding you back now?
i guess i'm just full of questions and that's how i will always be. this may have just been a chapter of my life, but it is one that i have learned the most from. it's time for a new beginning; new people, new adventures, new love and old love.
i'm a sucker for quotes and i truly am inspired by them. here are a few to keep you going or at least keep me going.
wherever the road takes me, i will cherish every moment like it's my last. inspirational quotes keep me going and i just love them. until next time lovelies...